I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
