Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
