Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
