Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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