you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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