i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
