Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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