my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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