so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
