Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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