worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
