Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
