i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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