I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
