i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize