Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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