I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize