This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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