just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
