"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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