My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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