party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
