Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
