What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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