Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
