Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Man, jail baloney is awful.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
