I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
