you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
