Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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