Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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