So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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