that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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