bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
