i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize