People with herpes should wear stickers.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
