He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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