Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
