Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
