SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
