Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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