The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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