I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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