mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize