I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
