I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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