You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
