is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My ass is underappreciated
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
