this beer tastes like vomit already
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
