i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize