we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
