Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
