I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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