I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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