also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
