There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
