walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
