what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize