as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize