I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
