So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Never let your siblings swipe right.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
